Preconceptions about gay bar prove unfounded

My ignorance amazes me sometimes. Some people who know me have called me a homophobe. I'm not really, but my problem with homosexuality probably came from my strict Catholic upbringing.

I'm ashamed to admit one of the biggest regrets in my life came in high school, when I stopped being friends with a guy because he told me he was gay.

So what better way to take a person out of his comfort zone than to face a longtime fear?

My only experience with gay bars was through seedy detective novels and equally bad movies.

In reality, though, Greeley's gay bar, Big Daddy's, was nothing like that.

About 20 people were milling around, a good number on this night for the bar, which the bartender said sometimes struggles to draw a crowd.

The dark corners of the bar didn't house sleazy, illegal activity. No one approached me with uncomely pickup lines.

In fact, everyone at the bar was friendly. Other so-called straight people were enjoying themselves.

OK, so the conversation wasn't scintillating, but it went something like this:

Guy named Tony: "So, are you straight?"

Me: "Yes."

Tony: "Me, too." He went on to tell me a long story about his girlfriend, their fight and his need to "get away."

Bartender: "So, I've never seen you here before. Is this your first time?"

Me: "Yes, I'm here for a project I'm working on."

Bartender: "Where do you work?"

Me: "At the Tribune." Then I told him a little about the project.

Some young women walked in, looked at the dance floor and discovered where they were and walked right out. I guess they weren't ready to expand their comfort zone.

After a few hours, closing time neared and a co-worker asked if we could leave. "I didn't expect to go to a gay bar and get hit on by a guy," she said.

And so it was. My preconceptions didn't prove true. I guess I didn't know what to expect, and that - ignorance, really - was at the root of my fear.

Yes, I survived, and I'm probably better for the experience.

<i>Thomas Martinez is assistant managing editor
at the Tribune. He can be reached at 352-0211, Ext. 227, or at tmartinez@greeleytrib.com.